AM I DOING SOMETHING WRONG?

I am trying, slowly, to build up within me, the stability, and the commitment required to be great.

I can't. I can't fool around anymore. I CAN'T LIE TO MYSELF THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE. 

I don't know how it doesn't strike a lot of people, Y'ALL MUST BE BONKERS, I SWEAR. 

It's starting to get to me. This whole disgusting feeling of being mediocre. Sweeping my problems under the mat. It's making me feel sick of who I am as a person. Like, eew what the hell? 

I know I will always always be worth it but for me, at least, I can't improve upon myself if I don't already strongly dislike some part of me. 

I'm looking for an identity within myself. A very strong one. A deadly one. 

My father told me something yesterday. 

He said using my head and my heart together might get me a lot farther than just using my heart. He said that I follow my heart so OBSESSIVELY WILDLY sometimes that I grossly underestimate the power of using my head. 

This made me think. 

Had I been doing something wrong?

Xoxo

Insane Little Brunette.