FUTURE PLANS? NAH, I'M GOOD

I feel like, recently, all the decisions I have been making regarding my life starts with "Who knows how long we're living??" 

And I don't know if that is a very optimistic way of living or a very pessimistic way. 

Like, it's ridiculous because I've never thought like this before. All my life I've just been like ok if I do this it's gonna get me a rich job and full stop.

What am I doing??! I've just been thinking how to pay off my rent. And I've been into this so deep, I have completely been ignoring those crazy things I've been wanting to do in the spur of  the moment. My desire to just run away from everything and everyone I've known and not look back. 

To idk turn into a completely new, wild, optimistic, fun-loving person. 

The desire to just LIVE LIVE LIVE is vibrating so much within me, you know???  

Like, yeah we'll figure out shit for the future when the time comes! Who knows, by then, I might want something else? Who knows what might have changed by then? 

I think I just want to do what makes me happy at this moment. What feels really right, now. I don't even want to obsess over the future so much. Just worrying about it makes me sick. 

Thinking only about the future and not my personal happiness has taken me nowhere in life. Now I want to see what happens if I make decisions based on what calls me now. 

I don't want my life to be a conventional straight line. I want to be running around haphazardly through forests. Beaches. Swimming in the oceans. Moving around in smart uniforms in high-rise buildings. Dancing under starry night skies. Suddenly buying flight tickets (You need money for that lmao but you get the point). Having deep conversations with strangers. 

And most importantly, I want to be free enough to run away from a place anytime I want to. Maybe in the future I'll want something else. Doing everything thinking about the future only has f*cked me up a lot. 

I have realized I am a free spirit by nature. 

And I have realized I have to protect that. 

Xoxo

Insane Little Brunette.

COMING UP NEXT : YOU CAN'T STAY WITH HIM JUST BECAUSE HE IS HOT.